Becoming Who You Are
“Once you accept the fact that you are not perfect, then you develop some confidence.” ~Rosalynn Carter
For well being and intimacy, self-acceptance is more important than self-esteem.
Self-esteem is our sense of value as a person in the world and where we emphasize our best qualities.
On the other hand, self-acceptance is more inclusive. We see the all of who we are — strengths and flaws — and are OK with them. Unconditional self-acceptance could be described as at peace with self.
Self-acceptance provides two things. It increases our immunity to manipulation by criticism or flattery, and empowers us to be more creative and authentic.
To get these benefits, we cannot put conditions on our self-acceptance. We cannot wait until we fix a habit, or achieve a goal, or finally win over the love and admiration of a person. The only place and time it can start is here and now.
Some people worry fear of failure and self-hatred are their only motivations and they will stagnate by changing, but the truth is negative states drain energy.
As much as you accomplish with a constant negative drain on your total operating power… image what you will accomplish with all of your energy intact.
Here, in my experience, are three common blocks to self-acceptance:
- Need to ‘prove’ our value. “Once I have this, or accomplish this, then I will have made it / be somebody / be lovable.”
- Internal or external expectations out of line, or in conflict with the truth of you.
- Waiting for love (or something similar) to rescue us.
Taking to heart our intrinsic value dissolves blocks to self-acceptance.
“I love myself for I am a beloved child of the universe and the universe lovingly takes care of me now.”~ Louise Hay
Intrinsic value in philosophy points to existence as proof of value. Our worthiness is a given. It cannot be achieved or given since inherently it already is. Nature reflects this for us. Does the butterfly perform tests to deserve nectar? Are birds required to perform Mozart to belong to a flock? No.
That we are here at all proves we have intrinsic value.
This does not mean act willy-nilly because now we have nothing to prove or achieve. Quite the opposite! Alignment with self nurtures a developed conscience and increased empathy.
Butterflies move from flower to flower. Birds nest, sing, peck, hop. We are equally meant to “do” us.
In the video below I share “The Pine Tree Story,” a story that came to me in meditation during a difficult time.
Becoming who we are is a natural unfolding. We assist this unfolding as we take power back from the inner critic, and remember to praise and celebrate ourselves where we are truly proud.
What small or large thing are you ready to accept about yourself today?
Free download! “5 Ways Self-Love Attracts More Love.”