Why Narcissists Look Shiny
Narcissists look shiny because they steal energy from the confused people around them.
The old system was built on winners and losers. Narcissists are well designed for the old system because they lack the empathy that would inhibit them from doing ‘what it takes to win.’
The friends and family around narcissists function as props to maintain the narcissist’s inflated or lopsided sense of self. To secure a sense of superiority as a winner, there is nothing better (they think) than people around them who lose by comparison. Even if these more modest, possibly loyal and supportive people in fact have greater talent, intelligence, success or looks than the narcissist does, over time association with such a vampiric personality drains their shine.
The emerging system starts with win-win, and enough for everybody. We do not need to steal energy from other people anymore, we can connect directly. Another way to say the same thing would be: conformity is a tougher and tougher road to success. In the new system authenticity and creativity offer the edge we need to flourish.
So how can narcissists possibly “steal our energy?” It’s as simple as them feeling good when we feel bad, because then they are motivated to sabotage, belittle, confuse and control us.
But it’s just HOW WE FEEL, why is that so important?
Science supports the commonly known experience that when we spend time with happy people, we feel happier. In a similar way, sad people make us sad, angry people angry, and so on. This is a powerful effect called emotional contagion, and it produces long term consequences in our lives.
So what happens when we spend time with narcissistic people. Specifically, those individuals in our lives who:
- Lack empathy
- Install chaos – people seems to be upset or fight around them
- Endlessly need attention or support – but almost never give back
In truth narcissists are disconnected from their authentic feelings, voice, and authentic sense of self, which is a miserable place to be.
This is the “con” of the narcissist. They are actually miserable people, pretending they have great stuff to give us when really they see traits, attributes or skills in us they can use for themselves.
If you are empathic or building your awareness, it’s worth knowing some people function as energy vampires. On the surface they look great and may even shine, but because they take without regard from others.
We see this behavior everywhere today because it worked in old world.
In today’s world we can connect directly.
We do not need to make someone else feel bad to feel full within ourselves. Through art, meditation, exercise, selfless giving, and other means we can refill every day and be resourceful, creative and generous.