Forgiveness is the Best Revenge
“To every action there is always opposed an equal reaction.” – Isaac Newton
Holding on to past hurts and traumas locks us into a pattern of repeated pain. The longer we are burdened, the deeper the disturbance becomes and the wider sweeping effect it has on our lives.
It is deeply unfair, really, because we did not ask for our worst experiences. Regardless, they stick with us, change us, confine our future courage and worm through our minds as fear and self-doubt. Sometimes, when we feel victimized, we imagine the experience has darkened or stained us in some way. We yearn for an earlier state of greater purity.
When you look around at this world today, it is wounds more than victories that explain us. How many children in any country grow up without some form of abuse?
Few. Very few. None? Our “normal” is a highly functioning casualty.
That is why forgiveness is the most powerful retribution. It is the path untraveled, it is the red pill — the way out of the matrix.
Revenge seems necessary when, from our perspective, the Universe is out of parity and it is our job to correct it. We have been wronged, and we must restore fairness. The delusion is that I (as a small individual frail human consciousness) am capable of returning the Universe back to balance. “Balance Universe, I said balance.”
In reality the only thing we can hope to harmonize is ourselves. Resentment and retribution are born of a misunderstanding of our scope of power.
Newton’s law of inertia: An object at rest stays at rest and an object in motion stays in motion with the same speed and in the same direction unless acted upon by an unbalanced force.
Before this person harmed you, or whatever happened, you had a certain inertia going for you.
When you are strong, confident and healthy momentum helps you build on what is working. However, when you feel damaged by a trauma and distracted by the need to “right it” this same force works against you. A small pebble can become a snowball and then an avalanche with enough slope.
The event, which was never meant to define you, could potentially become a guiding force in your life. The longer we stay attached the more we are influenced by exactly what we do NOT want.
The first step to forgiveness is to decide today you are willing. Knowing how comes later.
Forgiveness lets you off the hook, not the other person.
But what about self-protection? What about that jerk and what he/she is getting away with?
Both modern physics and ancient philosophies agree: THE UNIVERSE CONSTANTLY SEEKS BALANCE and will always remain in an active equilibrium. Our world is composed of opposites seeking balance; good/bad, right/wrong, male/female, and young/old to name a few. Even matter itself has a balancing opposite in antimatter. Your physical body… to each atom comprising each cell… has a corresponding antimatter atom.
We are part of this world not the maker of it. (Did you make your bed today?) It is NOT our job to create balance outside of us, only on the inside.
We all long for affinity, accord, harmony. We strive for it. We believe we have to work hard and become more deserving to achieve it. Not so. We cannot create something that is already so basic in nature. Our job is simply to attune to this, our natural state.
Thoughts, feelings and actions of vengeance change our biochemistry for the worse. We may be drawn to others also seeking revenge. Meanwhile, we move further from the center point, extend our discomfort and lengthen the distance back. We may even harm others along the way.
Just as you have your personal balance to maintain, so does the perpetrator. If their actions are out of balance the Universe will not make an exception. Steer clear their path of pain.
However, there is a difference between forgiveness and tolerance. Letting yourself off the hook does not mean putting up with abuse or bad behavior. In fact, forgiveness engenders a higher level of accountability for everyone. We admit, recognize and grow when we forgive.
A transgression links the perpetrator and victim. Forgiveness dissolves and erases that link. It liberates each person to their own path. You move on resting in the LAW that the Universe MUST FIND BALANCE. No exceptions.
No need to wait for evidence before you feel your satisfaction; then they still are binding you with their (lame) timeline of growth. Rip them completely from your internal landscape and plant your heart’s desires there instead.
Give back their slimy dullness. Reject that sticky shame. Recognize as delusion their actions could ever have diminished you. There is a Universal force from which no person escapes. Theirs will come in time. You are answerable to your own.